I, as much as anybody, can attest to the positive effect that dance and movement have on our bodies physically. Our hearts and lungs, muscular system, and strength can all be greatly improved by movement and dance. It’s just well-known that exercising has a positive impact on us physically when done healthily and safely.
But what about the effect it has on our mental health? Well for me, I haven’t always put the two together.

I’ve danced all my life. I have vivid memories of the hours I spent in front of the TV watching the kids on Barney the Dinosaur and joining them with their dance routines or more times than not, going completely rogue and choreographing my own dances. I had loads of friends growing up thankfully but still found that a massive chunk of my childhood was me, by myself in my room, dancing. It didn’t matter what CD I got my hands on, I would dance to track after track and visualise the dancers alongside me on the stage and the hundreds and thousands of audience members watching me (while giving all the attitude and sass that I could as a 6-year-old). It's quite strange actually because even though I was on my own, for sometimes long periods, I don’t remember feeling alone or sad, I just remember being so happy, excited, and invigorated afterward. And of course, when it would be time to go to my weekly dance lessons, I would be like a kid on Christmas morning with the excitement, before rushing straight home to perfect what I had just learned before the next week. I just felt happiest when I danced.

In the years that followed I would have looked at all of this and not put much thought into it and the effect it had on me and my mindset. It wasn’t until I got older, and more to the point, until I stopped dancing completely for a few years that I realised how much of an effect dance had on me. Not only physically, but mentally too.

As I got older, I never wanted to stop dancing, even as my friends starting to stop for different reasons. Sometimes it wasn’t by choice, it was more that things got in the way; work, studies, boys, socialising. And although I had all these things in my life too, they always fell second to my dancing. Whilst in secondary school I started working as a student-teacher for my dance school, and when I left school and started college and had other jobs, I always made sure they fit around my dancing so I could keep going. Then in 2014 when I was 24, I decided it was the time to “grow up” (inverted commas because I fell into the trap of believing that to be a grown-up meant I had to stop dancing), and get a “real job”. I was moving from Ireland to the UK to live with my boyfriend and needed a new full-time job, and having no connections with any dance schools in the UK, I thought it would be the best time to do so.

I stopped dancing for a full 2 years for the first time ever. And initially, I didn't mind. There was so much going on that I didn’t really have time to miss dancing. Having just moved, I put a lot of my feelings and emotions down to homesickness, stress, and settling into my new surroundings. But after a few months, I started to really miss moving and music. So instead of doing what I innately knew would help (dance), I joined a gym for the first time in my life! After realising working out alone wasn’t the one, I decided to try some of the exercise classes, and this started to make me feel good. I loved the upbeat music and “dance-like” rhythm of the boxercise or aerobic-style classes, but after a couple of weeks, I got bored and stopped. 

This trial and error of different things continued for another year and a half. At the same time, I really wasn’t feeling good or happy. I wasn’t myself and I wasn’t the girl my boyfriend had fallen in love with and I started to doubt my decision to move countries. I had essentially gone from being someone busy with exciting things, highly independent, and creative at home to someone working a full-time office job, with no creative outlet, and who was highly dependent on my boyfriend. Due to this, our relationship started to suffer and I knew a massive chunk of it was because of how low, unfulfilled, and downright crap I felt. And in April 2016, after a pretty bad argument, which left me booking a same-day flight home to have “crisis talks” with my family, I promised that I would and could make it work. I knew I couldn’t help my relationship until I tried to help myself, but I still wasn't 100% sure how. And then, in the August of the same year, I started back dancing.

At this time, I still hadn’t figured out that stopping dancing had been a massive catalyst in my lacking self-esteem, my confidence, and my overall mental health. I only started again because I saw an Adults dance company on Facebook who did girly-commercial style dancing a stone throws from me, called the Neptune Girls and I thought it looked cool. However, after my very first, not-so-good, and quite shaky lesson, I felt different. I didn't fully understand it at the time but I just remember feeling like the girl who walked into the studio that evening was not the same person who strutted out. And as the weeks went on this got stronger and stronger.

It probably took a good 6 to 12 months before I looked back and was able to piece it all together. Dancing for me wasn’t just a hobby, it wasn’t just a job and it wasn’t just exercise. It was like therapy in physical form. It felt like I was under a spell as soon as the music started. Any worries, stresses, or problems seemed non-existence during this time. I could dance and move without the constant barrage of thoughts and noise of life whirling round and round in my head. They would still come back once I stopped, but I felt able to deal with them again with fresh eyes and a new perspective. And of course, this not only affected my mindset, mentality, and headspace but also filtered into my relationship and other aspects of my life.

Now, I’m completely aware of how dramatic this may all sound, but that’s because for me it was dramatic. In the space of a year, I went from flying home to figure out my life, what I was going to do, and potentially where I was going to live, to getting engaged, really enjoying my job, and also feeling like my “old self” once again. Returning to dance was like a domino effect on so many parts of my life, and I fully believe that if I didn’t go back things would probably not be the way they are for me today.

The years when I didn't dance were the times in my life when I struggled most with my mental health. I craved music and movement but nothing ever fully satisfied that and it became detrimental to so many areas of my life. Of course, other things were affecting how I felt too but dance had always been, and probably always will be, my release and escape, and without it, I wasn't sure how to cope with everything that was going on.

I say that I am someone who doesn't "suffer" from my mental health thankfully. And by that, I mean that I've never had any medical or other support to help it. But just as we all have physical health; mental health is also something we all have. They can both be good and healthy at times, bad at others, and something we need help with along the way too. We all know there are things we can do to help look after ourselves physically; like drinking water, eating nourishing food, and getting enough sleep. But are we as aware of the things we can try and do to maintain our mental health? We wouldn't wait for our physical health to reach rock bottom before we start to look after it and the same applies to our mental health; being mindful of doing the things that nurture and improve it when we can.

For me, it's dancing. In a studio or class setting. In a nightclub, freestyling away to my heart's content without a care in the world. Or even just in my kitchen, cranking the radio right up and moving around in whatever way feels good. I realise that now. And there are still days now when I feel like the last thing I want to do is move let alone dance, but these are the days that I need to dance the most and the times it has the biggest impact.
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I dance now for me, my body, and more importantly, for my mind.

If you are struggling with your mental health, you can get help locally by visiting the Health and Care page of www.portsmouth.gov.uk or talking to your GP, Postive Minds. https://www.positivemindsportsmouth.org.uk/ , Talking Change https://www.talkingchange.nhs.uk/ or CALM https://www.thecalmzone.net/about-calm/what-is-calm/
*Source www.mentalhealth.org.uk

I’m a young woman who has been lucky enough to be offered lots of awesome opportunities; I feel as though it’s my responsibility to speak out about the inequity of opportunities, also. But at the same time, I feel that by sharing successes, we can create positive change through a positive focus. It might be the final push that encourages that young person to apply for an internship or encourages a board to give another young person a seat at the table. So I’ll attempt to do both.

I have been incredibly lucky. I’ve been offered some great experiences, and a fair few have come along in sort of a domino effect. The story I always share when talking about what I do is this:

I’m a student and youth activist. I have always been involved in student voice type things, but in secondary school, an opportunity arose for some of the members of our student council to take part in a Portsmouth-wide student forum, the Council of Portsmouth Students (CoPS). In all honesty, I wasn’t entirely fussed about going - I didn’t really know what it was, but a trip seemed fun, and so I put myself forward. Long story short, I had to rock, paper, scissors for the final place and my goodness, I am so thankful to little Ella for winning that game. I joined the forum and stayed a part of it for 3-4 years, working with schools around LGBTQ+ education and better integration for disabled students, among other things. In the 2nd and 3rd years, I was elected vice-chair of the forum (a big thank you to the facilitators that encouraged me to run that day). -The nerdy little ginger girl won! Those roles alone brought me incredible opportunities; I got to go to board meetings and speak at conferences and even got to go to the House of Commons. Before this, I had never realised that adults and decision-makers cared about the views of young people, and it was eye-opening.

Now, I understand that not every adult or decision-maker is like this, but that’s just fuel to my fire. Eager to keep doing more, I got involved in projects like Future in Mind, a mental health-focused steering group that used coproduction. Then I was nominated for and presented with a Diana Award, something I will be forever proud of -even though that imposter syndrome pokes its head from time to time.

This domino effect that I talk about, CoPS really kickstarted that for me, so a big thank you to Unloc, who host the forum, for all of the support over the last few years.

Long story short, I was able to get involved in projects working with the Solent NHS Trust, even getting to speak at their AGM. I was voted to be head girl at my secondary school and was also successful in applying to be a youth ambassador for ONE, a global movement campaigning to end extreme poverty and preventable disease by 2030. For the last three years, I have been able to say that I campaign with other ambassadors and lobby MPs in my free time (which I find pretty amusing). Thanks to this role, I’ve now been to the House of Commons a fair few times, and I still get as excited as the first. I’ve also gotten to participate in the YOUNGA youth delegate programme, working with young activists from around the world to form communiqués ahead of the UN general assembly.

And now, I find myself on two advisory boards; I still campaign with ONE and have just been elected as one of Portsmouth’s Deputy Members of Youth Parliament. It makes me so excited to have the chance to give back to a city that has offered me so much.

However, we all know that not many other young people are as lucky. Nobody would have to rock, paper or scissors in an ideal world to gain access to opportunities. Luck should never play a role in the development of young leaders and change-makers.

One of the biggest challenges I face is learning to say no. I recognise that I am fortunate to be invited to take part in the things that I do, and not enough young women have the same and so it can feel like I am not genuinely valuing what others offer me and that I’m letting down those that aren’t so lucky when I do say no.

As you can guess, with that comes quite a big workload. I’m currently in the midst of exams for my A-Levels, and I have to be quite strict with myself in remembering that, right now, I have to be a student before attempting to be this superhuman youth activist that has endless hours in their day. That doesn’t mean I feel any less guilty, though.

I do want to emphasise that I’m not telling you to stop reaching out to young people to collaborate. There are lots of us that do! But just remember that a majority of opportunities go to the minority, and we are probably working on lots of other things too.

My diary can get pretty busy at times. When working with adults and professionals that don’t usually coproduce with young people, I find that there can be this sort of disbelief at the fact I might not have loads of availability. Yes, I’m at college for regular hours of the day, but I have calls scheduled around that (Dare I say, Zoom has made commutes easier); I have to work, find some time to do ‘normal’ thing (urgh, I hate that word) oh and fit in some food and sleep somewhere. I’m not selling myself as an easy person to work with, but I’m trying to say that there seems to be no middle ground in this world of empowerment. You have all the outreach or none. And for those of us that have lots, we really don’t want to say no (you’ve found a rare one of us if we say no straight away regardless), and if we had a few more hours in the day, there would be no stopping us.

I don’t share the adventures that I’ve had so far in vain, honest! I take every opportunity to encourage decision and change-makers to work with young people and to give them a seat at the decision-making table. And with the world of online conferencing, though I do recognise the inequality amongst tech access, I don’t see any excuse not to branch out and work with a greater variety of young people.

I think empowered generations go on to be responsible generations. I don’t know about you, but I can’t think about a time when we need that any more than now. 

Behind every great woman, there are many other great women! Female empowerment is a movement. Movements don’t happen with just one person, and the same goes for the majority of achievements. At Pamodzi, we recognise that when a woman is celebrated for her outstanding service, business prowess, inspiring bravery, or general fabulousness, she has a tribe behind her. A mighty group of humans who continuously offer support and encouragement and propel her to greatness. 

The women of her tribe might not even be with her this present day. They can be a combination of voices throughout her life offering guidance and encouragement. Voices that she still hears today, each one most likely assigned to the situation that calls for that specific wisdom.

Her tribe have lifted her up when she’s down, advised when she’s lost and listened when she’s desperate. They know her worth, sometimes more than she does. They can envision her goal even when she’s lost sight. And they can give her the words she needs at that very moment to kick her butt back onto action!

Tribe Members Each tribe member has a role to ensure our lady’s success:

• The Listener – Normally the first point of call for a chance to vocalise thoughts in a safe and non-judgmental environment. The listener is a kind and supportive soul.
• The Advisor – This wise female has the knowledge and experience to offer useful ideas and approaches. She does not force these on our lady, she just offers alternative thinking that can be adapted to suit our lady’s style.
• The Motivator – This tribe member always has the right words to kick start a fresh new round of energy and motivation. Just what our lady needs to turn her thoughts into actions. 

I’m sure each woman reading this can relate to having these roles filled in their life by someone wonderful, and also actually being one of these for a fellow empowered queen. 

Whilst all the tribe members are offering their support and guidance, there’s the addition of our lady’s internal compass. These are those voices from her past and present. They could be from family members, podcasts, books or quotes she has read. Her special mind will bring the appropriate audio she needs to move forward with her life and goals.

Award Recipients The inspirational ladies that are nominated and, of course who receive an award at our Inspirational Women of Portsmouth Awards are representing her tribe of incredible women who are part of her journey. We recognise all who play a part of our award recipient’s life and hope that our celebration of them encourage more women to nurture each other to reach their goals and dreams in life. 
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Who inspires you? You can nominate the women that inspires you most  here 

By Kelly-Marie Baker 

Adaptations One evening, whilst scrolling through the usual social media noise, I was struck by an image that stopped me in my tracks. It was a standard, unfiltered image of a mum. Headset on with her laptop at the kitchen table. Her son sitting with her on his tablet completing his own work. They were sitting opposite one another with their respective paperwork encroaching on each other’s side of the table. Beautifully representing the new adaptations both mother and son had to make during 2020. 

Family rhythms and flows have changed and adapted in households all over the world this year and I have come to realise that no two households share the exact same experience. Each home and its occupants are unique. Homes with key workers, some with their main earners furloughed, others completely at a loss when their small business can’t open. We have families forced into a homeschooling situation, whilst others relishing at the chance to spend more time together. Half the population are enjoying a slower pace of life whilst others are highly stressed. Families suddenly all under one roof, all day, every day. It has been a bizarre and challenging time. 

Resilience There is enough content out there to delve into the hardship that this year has brought to humanity. I would like to focus on the resilience that has been displayed. Especially from the women in this world. 

Many are concerned (and rightfully so) that the progress and advancement for women could have been undone this year, with early lockdown studies showing that even when working from home, the mothers have taken on the majority of household chores and the homeschool burden. 

* Side note: I would hope by now (December 2020) a better flow and fairer sharing of household and family admin has been worked out in your home. If not, then that is something to think about and discuss amongst your fellow house people. ASAP! 

I see these points and my initial feeling is anger. Why should it naturally fall on us? We have advanced and why is it when things get tough, we are the ones that end up digging deep and make everything work?!

Well unfortunately for us, I believe it is because we have the capacity too. History has shown how adaptable and determined we are. I would like to celebrate the sheer grit and resilience amongst women. This year the world has needed a female’s touch. It has needed kindness and strength, flexibility, and compassion. 

The incredible spirit displayed amongst the women in my life has been beyond inspiring. Their ability to ride the highs and lows, but most of all the way they process their situations and just crack on with life. They always manage to find the strength and creativity to pull through and flourish. 

Finish Fierce Lately all I see are Christmas cards, GIFs and memes all striking 2020 off and wishing next year to be better. As funny as some of them are I just can’t get on board with wishing time away. Every single day of our life is borrowed time. During this year we have still been living and experiencing life. It’s just been a version of life that we are not used to. And NEWS FLASH! it’s not about to magically change at midnight on the 31st!
Don’t get me wrong, there have been times I’ve felt worn out, desperate and fed up. During those times, I noticed how little that state of mind actually served me. It just amplified those gloomy feelings and felt rubbish. By switching our mindset to a place of gratitude and compassion is the only way to get the most out of today. 

Lesie Dwight put it best:
What if 2020 isn’t cancelled?
What if 2020 is the year we’ve been waiting for?
A year so uncomfortable, so painful, so scary, so raw – that it finally forces us to grow. 
A year that screams so loud, finally awakening us from our ignorant slumber. 
A year we finally accept the need for change. 
Declare change. Work for change. Become the change. 
A year we finally band together, instead of pushing each other further apart. 
2020 isn’t cancelled, but rather the most important year of them all. 

I urge everyone to use the final days of 2020 to reflect, process, be grateful for the lessons and look forward to a better you and a better world. If there is anything this year has taught us is that it’s the small things in life that bring little pockets of happiness. The compassion and connections with our fellow humans and environment.
I believe if we adjust our focus to experience joy in everyday wonders, we can get the most from life. Not just in these crazy times but always. 
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Stay fierce and finish strong. 

Kelly Marie-Baker 

Disclaimer: We, of course, recognise that gender is non-binary. This article is referring to men and people who identify as men.
Every person has their own emotional traits and complex life experiences, this article has used research based on the generalisation and trends in men’s psychological behaviour.

Us and Men. Oh, how far we have come. After millennia of female struggle, we are finally arriving at a place where the importance of equality is recognised.. We can do all the jobs, earn the money, raise the family, even procreate without a physical man in our lives. The age of empowerment is here. And as empowerment is being achieved, we have an opportunity to use this empowerment to walk alongside those who need it.

Our men are struggling. The statistics are screaming at us to do something. But what? How do we support and empower the men we have fought so deeply to be on par with? Why should we add this as another job for us to do ?

How do we keep in balance  the fierce feminist activist within us with the challenge of also being a  supportive equal   that can sympathise with male emotions?

The Men in Our Lives Well, to begin with, think about the men we choose to connect with in our lives, the fathers, husbands, brothers, friends, uncles, cousins, grandfathers. Those individual humans and their individual traits are special to us and  they won’t always be the ones contributing  to the discrimination women face. Some of them may have even fought by our side.

Our Beautiful Differences It is clear, in many areas of life, that men and women approach things differently. Gender can be fluid and as  much as we are equal in society, there are still psychological traits that are gender specific. A basic example is the consensus that women are predominantly ultra-thinkers. Their brains are a mesh of connections and wires that think about multiple thoughts and complete multiple tasks at any given time. Men have more of a sectional approach to thinking. They are task orientated and solving problems create feel-good hormones.

John Gray explains that when women sit down, the blood flow to their brain increases and they think even more, whereas when men sit the blood flow decreases and they can “zone out” more efficiently. I’m sure many of us can recall a time where we’ve been calling the man’s name, whilst he is staring at the TV, with very little to no response! Turns out he isn’t ignoring you, he’s just seriously good at “zoning out”.

Instead of being baffled by our differences,  I decided to do some research and became fascinated by the wonderful differences (and similarities) we possess.  Knowing the reasons behind our difference and quirks leads to better understanding of each other and allows us to be considerate and adaptable. We want our relationships with the men in our lives to be rich and fulfilling so put the work in and begin to build some awareness about their model of the world.

Create Opportunities for Openness and Be ReadyThink of the person you are most likely to open up with. It is normally someone you can completely be yourself when you are around them. The men in your life must feel accepted by you for who they are. It creates a safe space for them to be able to share. Most crucially though, you must be prepared to allow him to speak, withhold judgement and defensive reactions.

“They would rather see me die on top of my white horse than watch me fall off”

Have women become the ‘emotional patriarchy’? In her book Daring Greatly, Brene Brown highlights that many men feel that when they do open up the women in their life “can’t handle it”. It’s often easier to withhold their emotions to preserve the relationship and their ego. But the emotions and feelings that aren’t being shared need to be released. If they are locked up inside, they will eventually break free in less constructive ways.

Brene Brown uses the term “pissed off or shut down” to describe a response pattern she noticed in her research. She describes; if a man’s feelings are met with resistance, critique, or lack of understanding then they are likely to withdraw and turn their emotions into either rage or shut down completely.

What we can do is create opportunities for a man to speak his mind and pay attention to our own emotional reactions. To accommodate and encourage his openness we can be calm, understanding, supportive and loving. When a man opens up to you, remember they are his feelings, and the focus should remain on him.

Using our Empowerment An empowered woman takes responsibility of her life, she lives by her values and trusts her intuition. She is courageous and empowers others to be empowered. Not because of what she will get from empowering others. But because after she has rested deeply in her empowerment,  she recognises that empowerment without action is a vacuum.

The last part of that definition is perhaps the most crucial here. Supporting, honouring and encouraging other humans to feel empowered is a quality every empowered woman can possess.   What does an empowered woman who continues to call out gender based injustice but can also gently walk alongside that man who needs to heal look like ? Men deserve respect and compassion.
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So, how can we empower men?

• Be intentional with our interactions
• Establish an environment of trust and safety
• Create opportunities for talk and openness
• Help them feel understood and accepted
• Be mindful of our reactions
• Respect them for their own individual and gender specific traits
• Don’t try and make them be like us or approach life the way we do
• Celebrate our differences

I have a vast array of different male figures in my world and they all have their own ways of dealing with problems and challenges. Making sure I listen and offer support allows me to notice when something isn’t quite right with any of them.

My approach with my male friends or family members is quite different to the females in my life. I tend to joke more and talk less. When we meet, we will mostly be doing something like walking, playing sports or cards rather than sitting down for an actual chat. I find this makes conversations more relaxed and if there’s something on their mind it will normally come out. If not, and I suspect there’s something the matter, I will make special effort to build rapport before just asking out right.

“Recognising and preventing men’s health problems is not just a man’s issue. Because of its impact on wives, mothers, daughters, and sisters, men’s health is truly a family issue.” — Bill Richardson.

We love the men in our lives so let’s keep a caring eye on them.

Kelly Marie Baker 
Lead Writer 
Edited by Roni Edwards 

"​My love for my city, Portsmouth, runs deep. I am likely to politely walk you to the door with a list of alternative options if you live here and have nothing positive at all to say about the city. I am also Zambian born and grateful for the depth and colour the moulding of these two cultures has given me (like my inability to project a quietly poised, feminine, and cultured amused smile as opposed to my full blown hysterically-pitched belly laugh...I am working on it). The company name Pamodzi, meaning together, is a celebration of the two cultures meeting.."

Lockdown brought its own unique, never likely to be repeated challenges. I lost count of the times I sat in front of an online video meeting knowing full well that although the top half of me looked professional(ish) and in keeping with the meeting,  I was definitely wearing my other half's boxer shorts/pajama trousers. So I am still a little bit bemused that I managed to string together enough coherent sentences to warrant a chapter in the  book 'Being a Badass B***h in Business & Life'. whose proceeds will go to the SmartWorks charity .  Smart Works is a UK charity that provides high quality interview clothes and interview training to unemployed women in need

It was an absolute privilege to be asked to contribute a chapter to a collaborative project led by the wonderful Personal Brand expert Annelies James.